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Introduction

Hello!

Welcome to my blog where you can suggest any content you want! I am just a high school student, no more no less, but fear not your presence is my motivation to do better each day in updating this blog! But I need your help and advice to do that, so if you don’t mind then you can just type all your critiques, complaints, and suggestion in the comment section below.

My heartiest welcome goes to you. Thank you for going out of your way to view this blog! I will always be honored to have you with me in every step!

I hope my blog can entertain your needs and kill your boredom. Terminating your boredom is my mission.

I also have another websute here in: https://bujago-perpekto.jimdosite.com/

Welcome to Bujago!

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

In order to find a good purpose that will last you a last time, you need to meet these two requirements.

The first requirement is that your purpose must help others in some way. Studies have shown that the most fulfilling thing you can do is to help others. When you help others your levels of happiness and self-esteem will go way up, It’s because you feel useful, you feel like you’re needed in the community.

The second requirement is that your purpose must be a goal you can never achieve. What I mean by this is that in Olympics there’s a strange phenomenon. Many athletes who would win a gold medal are suddenly met with depression. They spend their whole lives training, working hard, sweating towards that gold medal but once they get the gold medal, once they hold it in their hands, they suddenly no longer have a goal. If you have a goal that you can reach, one day you will reach it and suddenly be left with no purpose you’ll be overwhelmed with confusion and sadness.

A Tip to Overcoming Social Anxiety

There was a study that was conducted in 2000 at Cornell University, where they took groups of students then randomly choose one person from each group without them knowing. The researcher then told the individuals to show up at certain time in a certain room to discuss about a ‘project’. It’s important to remember that all of the seats in that room where positioned in a way so that everyone is facing he door.

The researcher gave each individual a T-shirt with a print of a well know person on it like Bob Marley, Bruno Mars and Martin Luther King Jr. before they enter the room to purposely stall them and making them late. As an individual comes into the room knowing their late and also knowing that all of the other students would look up at the door to notice who was coming in. This experiment was supposed to replicate an embarrassing moment.

The individual knew that they were the only ones who were late and they were meant to believe that everyone else noticed by the fact that everyone looked to look who was entering the room

After the experiment, the researchers asked the embarrassed individuals ‘how many of these students do you think remembered the incidence vividly?’ and on average the individuals reported that 50% of all the other students would be able to recall the event and the T-shirt they were wearing, because they messed up and they were absolutely sure that a large chunk of people in the room noticed.

But what the researchers discovered is that they were only 10% of the students in the room who were able to recall the event and the T-shirt, which is 5 times less than what the individual initially thought.

This is what we called “The Spotlight Effect” we humans often overestimate how much others care about our negative and also positive actions. We think that the spotlight is on us, that everyone is looking at us and judging us but when in reality majority of the people don’t care. I know that might sound like a bad thing but it’s just human nature. Most people are stuck in their own heads and thinking about themselves, not YOU.

This is a very important concept that you need to internalize if you are struggling with social anxiety.

Let’s take a break from controversial topics and relax

Let’s listen to this instead

Gender Equality anyone?

This post is purely just based on my opinions and from what I’ve witnessed from afar and I’ve made sure to keep this unbiased.

I really like the topic of achieving gender equality but can that really be achieved by us humans?

People mostly work hard about being to similar to everyone else and they strive to be acknowledged by others by following society’s standards so that they wouldn’t feel left out and to also feel that they belong in something.

So genders, we’ll talk about the main ones, female and male. Female and male would be impossible to be in a state of equilibrium for a long time since both of these genders has different chemical compositions such as that girl’s brains are more to express their emotions because of how their brains releases chemicals.

Another one of the reasons why it would be impossible is that our society is revolving around all kind of standards like beauty standards, behavioral standards of some sorts, and cultural standards.

Gender stereotypes also fits in the description of the reason why. Stereotypes is an over-generalized belief about a particular category of people. It is an expectation that people might have about every person of a particular group. Our judgments are mostly from speculations and from stereotypes that we grew up hearing.

These stereotypes affect the way of how our brains process new information that would be way beyond our expectations .

A few example of these stereotypes would be:

Men are more dangerous than men.
Cooking, House chores and raising children are meant for women
Women are only meant to be housewives.

Let’s discuss about this in the comments

Selfishness is Not Always a Bad Thing

Selfish people tend to always be good to only themselves.. then are surprised to see that they are alone.

This could be very relatable to some people and to people who’s thinking are solely on one path or being close-minded would mostly agree on that. But if you see it from a spectator’s perspective, someone who would deeply reflect about simple things in life would say otherwise. Look at the quote again but put aside all your judgments and your negative thoughts about it, try looking at it at a neutral mindset, a mind set where you could notice every little details that you didn’t see at your previous mindset…. Reflect about it.

The definition of selfishness from several dictionaries mostly has these sentence ” concerned with one’s own personal profit or pleasure” -which is very accurate.

Most people are shunning other people because of their behavior, those behavior would often be lying, impatient, irrational, etc and then selfishness.

Just like lying , selfishness comes naturally, no matter what we do… mostly everything we do is selfish, we just often deny it or didn’t acknowledge it in the first place. An example for this is me writing this blog because I want my name to be known I want people to look forward to my content. That’s the clue right there, the word ‘want’ as this word is mostly perceived as to acquire one’s own entertainment, pleasure, and profit.

But don’t worry, not everything we do out of selfishness is bad! Sometimes we just have to be selfish to be physically, emotionally but mostly mentally healthy as being selfish is critical. And this is my proof…

“Selfish is an ugly word but it can mean two different things,”
“One connotation is that you’re unkind and inconsiderate of others. The other is that you take responsibility for getting your personal, emotional and physical needs met, and that’s an important part of becoming an adult.”
Melissa Deuter, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio

If you can’t take care of yourself, then you can’t care for others. Because as to what Bob Rosen, author of Grounded: How Leaders Stay Rooted in an Uncertain World said, if you take care of yourself first, it shows that you are happy and a down-to-earth person in life.

To support my statements, I’ve listed some features that couldn’t be easily noticed with a judging mindset but by reflections:

1. Will Make You Happy

By doing what you want could be an act of being selfish since you are now not acknowledging the person’s opinions about your action.

By not doing what they force you to could also be an act selfishness… confusing isn’t it? Just like I said… Mostly everything we do is selfish.

Selfish people spend their time doing activities they like to do. Because they wouldn’t let other selfish people force them to do what they want which result on doing what they love the most.

An example for this is an art student is told by their art teacher that their personal art style is very unsettling as their art style is not like the other students but the thing is, their art style wasn’t out of proportion but just different from the others. The art teacher told the student to change their art style into something that they taught, But the student wanted to be unique, they wanted to stand out, as the word art style definition is ‘distinctive and therefore recognizable.’ So the student dismissed the teacher’s advice then continued on shaping their art style.

So let’s review the situation, the teacher wanted their students to do what they were taught and this is already an obvious selfish act, but someone other than the teacher is being selfish, the student. Instead of doing what the teacher wanted, the student did what they had in mind instead. Selfish clashes with selfish.

2. Better Leadership

“Selfish people have a drive to succeed”
Bob Rosen

which is true but not exactly precise, a drive that makes people to succeed is mostly out of selfishness is much more what I have in mind. Acting in your own self-interest may give you an advantage in leadership roles.

Leaders go after what they want with full of confidence and not think of the other party as long as the leader’s group will benefited, as leaders think of their group as their own being . They’re also not afraid to do what is right for their group. They are more confident and less likely to give up which is a major trait for what a great leader has to have.

Since there is often a high purpose to be a great leader, and one of these is to take care of other people. But how can you lead for other people if you can’t take care of yourself? Being selfish is critical.

3. Better Mental Health

Selflessness is not exactly a good thing. You put other’s needs before yours. The word ‘needs’ itself means its crucial to the person itself. So for you to give too much thought about other’s needs to put aside yours, how can you help them in the first place if you yourself can’t even help yourself?

Before I save someone else, I’ve got to save myself~
Save Myself, Ed Sheeran

If you don’t attend to your needs immediately then you’d be lying somewhere with disfigured disadvantages and stocked up with problems you’re unable to solve in a short period of time. Help yourself first before it’s too late. You have to be selfish for just this once for your own well-being. A strong mental health is a very crucial trait a good leader has to have. Putting yourself first will not always be a negative quality, it’s your job to take care of yourself and get what you need.

All in all, It’s in our nature to take care of our selves, it’s an instinct. Even though this certain instinct got a bad name for itself that it became the source of negative emotions like fear and guilt but this is what makes us driven, this could motivate us and push us to our limits.

But remember being too selfless is a bad thing but being too selfish is also a bad thing. You have to manage both sides to succeed, but just know that one of these sides can overdo more than the other without us knowing.

In the world we live in, we just really have to be selfish just this once to put ourselves first because this shows that we weren’t born to just serve the needs of everyone but ourselves. What I’m trying to say is before attending people’s needs, we have to take care of our needs first.

Please help yourself before it’s too late!

A Tip to Remember and Understand Better

There was this one time where we had to study this long study guide the night before the test due to the teacher being forgetful of handing it to us two days before that day. It was sent in a messenger app, but even if it was sent late everyone still got the message.

Most of the students just took a screenshot of it or just read it on their phone again and again, meanwhile the students remaining wrote the paragraph by hand and I was one of that remaining and let me tell you that writing that long study guide was exhausting…yet it was worth the effort because I was filled with DETERMINATION.

Night soon came to an end then here comes the test. I thought the test was gonna be hard but it turns out that it wasn’t that bad. I knew most of the questions there and what baffles me the most is that I remembered almost all of the contents in the study guide without my mind going blank. It was as if my brain almost perfectly captured then stored the information. But then after the test most of my classmates were complaining of how unfair it is and were worried of how low their score is, then I noticed most of those who got low scores and were complaining were the ones who only took a screenshot of the guide or just read from it and to those who wrote the study guide by hand mostly got a passing score.

After that event I went to do my research about the reason for this…

I came across into this website where it stated the drawbacks/disadvantages of memorization or repetition:

Can be repetitive
Easy to lose focus
Doesn’t allow for a deeper understanding of a subject
Doesn’t encourage the use of social skills
No connection between new and previous knowledge
May result in wrong impression or understanding a concept

https://www.oxfordlearning.com/difference-rote-learning-meaningful-learning/

and that’s what I’ve just gathered that could somehow relate to what happened and that’s where I also stopped.

Years passed by…

As I was scrolling through my recommendation list on YouTube I came across a video titled “How I Learn And Remember Things Easily – The Effort Rule”

It was about a research study conducted at a university where they separated two groups where the 1st group was only to take notes by hand and the 2nd group was to only take notes by only typing it unto a laptop or phone.

After the semester the researchers looked at their overall average scores only to see that the 1st group who wrote notes by hand scored 2x higher than the 2nd group!

And that’s where I realized that the reason why I got a high score before was because of the effort I put in to write the study guide unto a piece of paper which could also be called “Effort Principle.”

The information about the effort principle is from a YouTube channel called Improvement Pill. His channel is all about improving yourself into a much more better version of yourself.

10/10 Recommended

Lies

If there were no truth then it couldn’t be called a lie.

Questions that has been stuck at the back of my mind since I was a kid… Why do people lie? Can you really stop a person from lying?

Well to me, you can’t really stop a person from lying as that’s how our brain acts when in a frightening situation and then acts on impulse.

Lies can range from good to bad, as some lies are nothing more than a white lie to avoid humiliation and some lies are as dangerous as a monkey with a knife.

And with that saying, I’ve conducted a social experiment where I made my friends as the subject, in a situation where I confront them on several things so that I can observe on how they respond. This are the reasons I’ve gathered and the behavior I’ve observed from the people around me for the past few days

1. Defense Mechanism

“Don’t make direct eye contact as the animal will take this as a sign of aggression”
from every sign that’s placed beside a caged or free-roamed animal

I just noticed that people tend to spout more lies when the person is being confronted and is forced to make eye contact. Avoiding punishment is the most frequent reason people tell serious lies and this falls within the defense mechanism because when a person suddenly gets confronted about their doings most people would act on impulse and make up lies to defend themselves from humiliation of being found out.

2. For their own happiness

I’ve noticed some lies are told to win admiration from others. Boasting about something untrue is an obvious instance. It is common in children, some adolescents, and even adults.

Some people also lie to trick themselves. For instance, they tell themselves that they would be okay throughout the day knowing full well they’re not, but nonetheless their optimism makes them feel a little better and motivated.

3. Wanting to experience the thrill of it

Some people lie for the sheer thrill of getting away with it, testing their unsuspected power. Many children will at some point lie to their parents simply to see if they can do it. Some people do this all the time enjoying the power they obtain in controlling the information available to the target.

4. Maintaining privacy

To maintain privacy, without asserting that right, is another reason why people may lie.

Most people do tend to be a bit nosy and doesn’t know when to stop prying into other people’s business. To keep people away from your personal space, we either confront them about how nosy they are or lie about a situation that would make them stop and leave you alone, and most people would do the latter.

5. Being Polite

Polite lying is very common in our society and is often praised as an essential tool in communication. To ourselves and others, we use lies in our conversations about as much as we use colors. People who lies to be polite is often seen in a scene where they want to get out of an awkward situation.

And so far that’s all I’ve gathered and summarized! How about you? What was your experience about lying in a situation where you had to keep adding more lies until you were too deep to not back out?

Comment down below!

My First Blog Post

I’d rather be a little weird than all boring.
— Rebecca McKinsey

First steps

**This is me when you pressed this blog**

Hi there! First post here and from now on every post will come with an inspiring picture to make your day and might entertain you a bit. I hope that you had a wonderful day today! But if you didn’t then you can talk about it in the comment section below.